Monday, March 16, 2009


San Francisco Maritime National Historical Park
Friday afternoon


They say that when you find “the one”, you just know it. Until it happens to you, this sounds absurd. But then it happens and you enter this entire new world of human experience with this feeling that can not be described in any other way than “you just know”. For those people who haven’t found the geographical equivalent of “the one”, my story may sound silly because I have fallen head over heels in love with San Francisco. I knew it from the very first moment that I felt the chill of fog hit my desert-born skin. I first came here when I was eighteen on a spontaneous trip and there is no other way to describe it than “I just knew” … this was meant to be my home.

The thing about “the one” is that you do have that initial period of infatuation when everything seems magical and you don’t believe that you can ever dislike anything about the one that you love. But that happens with all kinds of lust and passion. With the one, it’s different because eventually, you start to see the negatives in anything that you love. And what’s different with the one is that, despite any negatives that you may find, you still feel head-over-heels passionately in love. The glamour and wonder of that initial infatuation never fade even when reality sets in.

I can see the negatives in San Francisco. I don’t love the weather here. I balk a little at the exorbitant rent that I pay each month to live here. I see the problems with homeless people and crazy people and confused people. I see that small venues aren’t always the best place for events and that we aren’t as diverse as we claim to be here and that our gentrification has positives and negatives. I see that sometimes we are so city-centric that we forget about how things are in the rest of the world. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because the beautiful sheen of this city has never left my eyes and every time I leave its boundaries my heart leaps out of my chest and stays behind. Because I can walk past a homeless person yelling crazy things at me and immediately see ten thousand beautiful sights that make me fall in love again and again every single day.

I feel my best when I am in San Francisco. They say that creativity and sexuality come from the same place – the urge to create and the passion we feel for the act of creation. And I think that’s true. Because I am always at my most creative when I am in San Francisco and I always feel my sexiest amidst the energy of this city. What you might want to know about me is that I’m a freelance writer and blogger who moved here in 2006. You can learn more about that from my website ( and my blog about the sexy side of the city (

But all that you really need to know about me is that I love every moment that I’ve ever spent with San Francisco. I love the random walks down Macondray Lane and up the staircases to Coit Tower. I love the sudden striking views and the hidden mural-filled alleys. I love the museums and the galleries and the boutique stores. I love the uniquely creative people you meet here in cafes and bookstores and bars, at open mic poetry readings and burlesque shows and tech conferences, online and through others who are here. I love the moments when I look at something and suddenly just feel gripped by the hope that I will have this love forever. I love that almost everyone who I know here feels that same way about San Francisco. And if you don’t feel that way about San Francisco, I really hope that you find “the one” city that is right for you. Trust me, you’ll know it when you do.



Char said...

I can definitely understand this love of a city, I felt the same about Birmingham. I just moved from there (unvoluntarily) and feel somewhat adrift in this place I landed.

A beautiful tribute to the city and a great read.

shabby girl said...

Well said. I get the feeling you describe, and have been lucky enough to have known the one city.
And let's face it, San Francisco is magical.

paris parfait said...

It's so true about San Francisco - despite the terrible things associated with the city (exhorbitant rents, homelessness, crack crime), it's just infused with magic. I've never found any city that can match SF for real soul and oodles of charm. I love it! Nice photos of the lovely Kathryn. xo

Kath said...

and somehow, you always stick up for the "one" even if you wonder sometimes, why they're doing that!

julochka said...

ooo, this makes me realize that it's how i feel about cape town. must do something about that...

KennethSF said...

I had the privilege of meeting Kathryn in person. Knowing your talent, I wasn't surprised to find that your photos of her bring out her spunk, charm, and bright personality. What amazes me is how you manage to capture her as an embodiment of the City itself. In your photos, she and the City are one.

Starlene said...

I suppose in the midst of all my own happenings, I missed the fact that there was this whole other blog for your project! And what a project it is! Those photos are so do amazing things with the light. The combination of these themed stories and photos is brilliant! To be honest, I'm a little envious of this city love. I can't wait to find my home. : )

Verification word is photype. How appropriate.

A Cuban In London said...

I loved Kathryn's interview. And this is my best bit: 'They say that creativity and sexuality come from the same place'. How very true, if not, ask Havana.

Greetings from London.

margieandkath said...

this project is maturing so beautifully. congratulations.


Kathryn said...

I just love what everyone has had to say here. I think the chiming in of different voices on every story via the comments on the blog just really adds something more to the project.

Christina said...

I'm not surprised that you attract, such beautiful people.

Bee said...

It's incredibly interesting to see the entire photo shoot -- AFTER you have absorbed a picture and words and formed a certain impression. Kathryn gives off a completely different "vibe" in her other pictures. She seems tougher in the one you picked; I like the complicated pose and the coiled rope.

I was very interested in Kathryn's essay, too. I was a strong sense of not living in the place that I'm meant to live . . . and I feel that this constrains me from being the person who I aspire to be. Reading about K's feelings about SF adds weight to this fear/worry.

Sallycat said...

I know how you feel about SF. I felt it and feel it about Buenos Aires. 'The one' - yes. I felt a little lost in Britain for 43 years.

The Martha Graham quote you have on your website, is the one I have on my kitchen wall. It was given to me by a tango dancing soulmate when she left BsAs... I read it every day.

The photoshoot intrigues me with its different faces of K. Spookily, I think the one you picked is my favourite!